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Roger Clemens, after living a full life, died.
When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest
little house with a faded Yankee flag in the window. "This house is yours
for eternity," God said. "This is very special, not everyone gets a house up
here."
Roger felt special, indeed, and walked into his house. On his way up to the
porch he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a three-story
mansion with a bright red and blue sidewalk, a 50 foot flagpole with a Red
Sox flag flying on it, and a Red Sox logo in every window. In the front yard
was a sign reading 'Welcome To Beantown.'
Clemen looked at God and said, "I don't mean to be ungrateful, but I have a
question. I won three World Series rings, more awards than I can remember,
and I won 300 games." God answered, "So what do you want to know, Roger?"
"Well, why does Pedro Martinez get a better house than me?" God chuckled and
said, "Roger, that's not Pedro's house... its mine."
A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student.
"Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?"
"The Red Sox."
"Why's that?"
"Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too."
"That's not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?"
"No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"
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A Yankee fan and a Jets fan jump off of a bridge. Who lands first?
Who Cares |
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Why is it good to be driving with a Yankees fan?
You can park in the handicap zone. |
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What's the difference between Bigfoot and a smart Yankees fan?
Big Foot has been sited. |
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How can you tell when George Steinbrenner is lying?
His lips are moving. |
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A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him.
"I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw. "You always lose control at the same point in every game."
"When is that?"
"Right after the National Anthem." |
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Hillary Clinton, who knows less about baseball than she knows about the upstate New York town of Glens Falls, claims to be a lifelong Yankees fan. |
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A Boston Red Sox fan, a Chicago Cubs fan and a NY Yankee fan were all in
Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze.
All of the sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere
possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the
terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were
sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very
good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to
life imprisonment. |
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Four baseball fans, each from a major league city, are climbing a mountain.
On the way to the top, each is arguing about how loyal they are to their team and what they would do for their team.
As the climb progresses, the odds increase. Upon reaching the top, the Mets fan shouts, "This is for the Mets," and hurls himself off the top.
Next the Brave fan yells, "I love Atlanta, this is for the Braves," and hurls himself off the mountain.
Suddenly the Red Sox fan yells "This is for everyone," and pushes the Yankees fan off . |
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Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
They had pictures of Yankees players on them ...people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. |
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Did you hear about Yankee stadium falling apart?
A huge beam fell through the deteriorating roof.
In fact, this was the first time the Yankees have had a problem with crack without it resulting in the suspension of a player.
Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?"
The man answers, "241."
"That is wonderful!" says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have much to discuss!"
Next, Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What is your IQ?"
The lady answers, "144."
"That is great!", says Albert, "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!".
Albert then goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?"
The person answers, "51."
Albert ponders this for a moment, and then smiles and says,
"GO YANKEES"!!
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